Inspirational Quotes for Your Day
Published three times weekly


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Welcome To The Religion Network!

WELCOME! I'm Lisa Bowman. The Religion Network is an interfaith web site providing daily inspiration, quotes and religious resources. Faith and religion are precious gifts that bless.
However you worship, I hope this site enhances your journey. Let us meet regularly and build
a spiritual network. If you'd like to know my story, click on biography.


Dear God, so far today, I’ve done all right.

I haven’t gossiped, and I haven’t lost my temper.

I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish,

and I’m really glad of that!

But in a few minutes, God,

I’m going to get out of bed,

and from then on,

I’m probably going to need a lot of help.

Thank you.



There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens...

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4
New American Bible


A joke: When does life begin?
According to the Catholics, life begins at conception.
According to the Protestants, life begins at birth.
According to the Jews, life begins when the last
kid leaves the house and the dog dies.


And Abraham was a hundred years old when his son
Isaac was born to him. Sarah said, "God has made
laughter for me; whoever hears will laugh for me."

Genesis 21: 5-6
The Stone Edition Tanach
Mesorah Publications

"In the Baroque period the (Catholic) liturgy used to include
the risus paschalis, the Easter laughter. The Easter homily
had to include a story that made people laugh, so that the church
resounded with a joyful laughter. That may be a somewhat superfi-
cial form of Christian joy. But is there not something beautiful and
appropriate about laughter becoming a liturgical symbol? And is it
not a tonic when we still hear, in the play of the cherub and ornament
in baroque churches, that laughter which testified to the freedom of the
redeemed? And is it not a sign of an Easter faith when Hayden remarked,
concerning his church compositions, that he felt a particular joy when
thinking of God: 'As I came to utter the words of supplication, I could
not suppress my joy but loosed the reins of my elated spirits and wrote
'allegro' over the Miserere, and so on'?"

From a sermon delivered on Bavarian radio years ago,
by Father Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI)


When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion,
we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth
filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing:
then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath
done great things for them. The Lord hath done
great things for us; whereof we are glad.

Psalm 126: 1-3
Holy Bible, King James Version


A joke: One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling
near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard
an old man's voice call from the other side of the wall:
"Hello? Hello?"
Jesus replied, "Who is it?"
"Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son,"
the old man replied.
Jesus' heart leapt with joy and he called out, "Joseph?"
The voice answered back, "Pinocchio?"


As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"--
probably because it's so hard to figure out
how to get the bark on.

Woody Allen

Buddhist humor: There once was a monastery that was very
strict. Following a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak
at all. But there was one exception to this rule. Every ten years
at the monastery, the monks were permitted to speak just two
words. After spending his first ten years at the monastery, one
monk went to the head monk. "It has been ten years," said the
head monk. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"

"Bed...hard..." said the monk.
"I see," replied the head monk.

Ten years later, the monk returned to the head monk's office.
"It has been ten more years," said the head monk. "What
are the two words you would like to speak?"

"Food...stinks..." said the monk.
"I see," replied the head monk.

Yet another ten years passed and the monk once again met
with the head monk who asked, "What are your two
words now, after these ten years?"

"I quit..." said the monk.
"Well, I can see why," replied the head monk.
"All you ever do is complain."


The mother of all Buddhist jokes:
A zen student walks up to a hot dog vendor and says,
"Make me one with everything."

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the
metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul
of the boy sitting next to me.

Woody Allen



5.  "I think we should just be prayer partners."
4.  " I do love you, but it's just agape now."
3.  " You need someone with lower standards."
2. " I feel called to the ministry very far from you and as soon as possible."
1.  "God loves me and must have a better plan for my life."


And now the Last Word:

If only God would give me some clear sign!
Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen
































































Bonus Quote:
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen, of course.





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